Monday, August 22, 2011

"Nobody Likes Me - (Guess I'll Go Eat Worms) ~

I am very aware that I am not the only one that has depressive feelings. I just find it interesting that one day you can feel joy and happiness and the next day you can feel down and out.
I remember as a young girl feeling like I didn't have any true friends. There are also moments in my adult life that I have had these same feelings. This little songl came to my mind and I then realize I really don't feel that bad.

Nobody Likes Me (Guess I'll Go Eat Worms)

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I think I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
See how they wiggle and squirm!
I don't think I will continue to write the rest of the verses because it is way too gross.

Anyway, I got up this morning with a depressive feeling. My husband didn't help much because he was having a stress filled moment at work. I tried prayer; but I don't think I want to hear back today. I have had the thought that I would love a good chat with a friend; but I don't want to be the one to call. I have thought perhaps I should connect with one of my daughters that I haven't talk with for a while. It all feels like work to me today.
I love to write so I thought maybe if I blog my feelings that will be helpful. So here I am confessing what a down day I am having.
I also remember when I was a pre-teen I had a dog names Nippy. He was named that because he liked to nip. I could tell a postman story on this one. Anyway, I loved that dog; at that time he was my best friend.Whenever I had a really bad day I could talk with Nippy. In fact, I would sit down on the porch and put my hand under his chin, looked into his eyes and then I would tell him all of my sad stories. He was such a good listener. I treasured those talks with Nippy.
So all of my friends out there in blog land I don't feel like being happy today and I know that is a choice. I choose to be unhappy today at least for a moment or two.
It reminded me of a quote in a book by  Elder Boyd K. Packer in 1982. There was concerns that many of the woman in the church were depressed and were going on medications to help with their depression. Remember this was the Molly Mormon era. At this time we were facing a job loss, a move, and younger children to help with  new area adjustments. I wasn't a happy camper then and I wasn't a Molly Mormon who could handle everything with joy and happiness in her heart.
As we were listening to conference this year there was a thought by Elder Boyd K. Packer that had a great impact on my thoughts during this time. Elder Boyd K. Packer explained: “It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal. Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life” (“That All May Be Edified” [1982], 94).
 Another thought that was expressed by a general authority; of which I don't remember which one said something like this; "It is OK to be depressed for a few days; but don't waller in it."
I think I will just continue to enjoy this depressive moment. Perhaps later in the day I will try the old adage to just get up and go out and serve someone today, call up a good friend or visit with one of my daughters.
I know Oprah believes in keeping a Gratitude Journal which can help with depression and I do too.
 Maybe just a few gratitude thoughts for this minute of time; maybe it will help. 
. I love blogging
. I love all my friends
. I love all my friends out there in blog land.
. I love my little dogs who listen too me too.
. I love uplifting quotes on life. 

Hugs and love to all of you!


Barb said...

Hi LeAnn!

I'm so sorry that you are feeling depressed - I wish I was there right this minute, sitting at your kitchen table, talking, laughing, crying, eat chocolate, shopping . . . just having some fun!!

I think that in the church, there are some who still have very high expectations of themselves and others,it's very sad. It's okay to be sad once in a while, I definitely have my moments, maybe too many of them!! Sometimes we just need to cry and be sad and depressed, after all we are women! Have you ever heard the song, Just Let me Cry, by Hilary Weeks? Here is the link, go listen to it and have a good cry, and remember I love you! It will be a better day tomorrow... :0)

Warm Hugs,

P.S. Cole dog is a great listener too - we should all have a "Nippy" in our lives!

Shanda said...

Love it that I just read this. I host a blog hop called On Your Heart Tuesdays. It comes out in 3 1/2 hours and I have NOTHING on MY heart to share. I just feel down and and cannot concentrate. Want to sleep but cant! You know those days. So...what do I do? Open the blog up with nothing on my heart :) Maybe I will! Maybe I will find the song Just Let Me cry and put it on my site!!

Beth at Aunties said...

Le Ann,
I come over here and dwell often because your words and thoughts lift me up when I am down... and so often could be my own words at the time, yet you seem to be able to verbalize them so much better than I could ever.
You are an amazing woman! Your testimony, warm heart and thoughts have been a blessing in my life. I just want to say Thank You!
I hope you feel much better by this evening. ~♥

Patty Ann said...

I hope your day is better. I have battled my own war with depression, sometimes with medication and sometimes without. I think if you are just down for a few days, than without is fine. There are things you can do to lift your mood. One is to listen to good music, take a hike (literally, sunshine is great!) do something that you enjoy doing, spend some time with friends. There is a time to worry about depression, mostly if you can't sleep or snap out of it, than you probably need to get a little extra help. You are amazing. I love reading your blog and you have helped me a great deal for some of my own bad days. Thank you for all you do and I hope today is just a short trip and that you are so much better tomorrow!

Marie said...

Sorry you are having a down day Leann. ((((hugs)))) We all have them for sure. I am so greatful for the Gospel which teaches me that the future is always brighter despite the clouds that today may bring. You are not alone. I have my very down moments as well. Thankfully they pass and I am able to move forward and past them. I am sending lots of love and hugs to you. Hope you feel better soon. xxoo

Ardith Haws said...

Sometimes the best thing about blogging is that we can all find common ground upon which we identify. Thank you for showing us a different side, one that we all battle with, and one that helps us to realize we are not alone in the fight. You continue to provide a great example of faithfulness, even when you don't intend to! Love you!

Sue said...

Sometimes it's good to just take a day or two and let those down feelings run their course. I like the advice that it's okay to do that as long as we don't "waller" in it.

I have a feeling you will be feeling sunnier soon.


Kelli- AdventurezInChild'Rearing said...

also love the "waller" in it quote- we have to allow ourselves to be honest about what we are feeling and to deal with emotions- but then we brush ourselves off and get up and go! :) God Bless-

Kelli- AdventurezInChild'Rearing said...

also love the "waller" in it quote- we have to allow ourselves to be honest about what we are feeling and to deal with emotions- but then we brush ourselves off and get up and go! :) God Bless-

Stephanie Cozzens said...

It's always a bit of a relief for me when normally upbeat, strong women say, "I don't feel very happy today." It's not that I wish you ill, of course, but it's reassuring to know that we're all human.

Irene Cortez said...

Hi Leann.

I also experience a lot of depressive moments in my life. I know it is hard to push oneself to feel happy when in reality, one is not. You'll be okay. But for the meantime, I'm glad you're being yourself in the blogosphere. Thank you for this very honest post. God bless! :-)


Marcia said...

We are indeed all human.
I understand, sometimes I too just don't feel like doing the work necessary to be happy. I too sometimes just want to wallow in my depressed state. We wallow then we get over it. Take a breath.

Thanks for the honesty.


singing/granny said...

Sorry to read you had a day of sadness. I certainly empathize! I get those too. But they're no fun! Glad you can reassure yourself with truth and light! I love reading your blog and it has often pulled me up from those depressive moments. Thank you for that. And blessings to you! Melody

Darlene said...

One thing about having a bad day is that when you have a really good one (hopefully the next day) it just seems that much sweeter.

I know you will feel better soon because you have always been an inspiration to me (seems like I have told you that quite often) and I just know you won't feel down too long. We all love you LeAnn

Kara said...

I'm so sorry LeAnn...
And sometimes there aren't easy answers or quick fixes...
I just know that God can handle even those deep-hurt-days...when you can barely even pour out your heart to Him (Psalm 62).
Praying tomorrow will be encouraging...

Mom of 12 said...

I have heard that song hundreds of time in my life! And I've felt that way too. It's easy to say don't worry about what others think but it's hard not too. I think you are pretty cool for what it's worth!

Lynda said...

Bless you for your honesty. We seem to only want to share our good days, but it is very uplifting to read about the down days. You are not alone and that in itself will hopefully pull you out of this. I so appreciate you. Thank you for linking up at Women of Noble Character. Even they have their down days.

Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

I'm sorry you have some miserable days, but glad to hear you are normal! :) I have some serious ups and down too. I loved that quote from Elder Packer. I think I needed to hear that today!

I love how inspiring you and blog are. You are very loved.

Galen Pearl said...

I am so glad you chose to share this. As I have said before, living in our happy place does not mean feeling happy all the time. Our feelings are our feelings, whatever they are. You identified your feelings of sadness, and you chose to honor them with some time. I think you are a wonderful model for all of us.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

I'm sorry that I am late seeing this post. I know just how you feel and I'm there off and on...It's tough, but I do believe it is part of life and some of us (many of us?) are just supposed to go through it and learn to deal. I'm glad you are better...I had a dog who was my best friend too...her name was Lady. She waited for me at the door when I came home from college. When I was older,I came home because my grandma was in hospice and was going to die. The night of her death (although we didn't know it yet) my dog came and laid down next to me to comfort me all on her own. It was the only night that she did that. Then my mom yelled down to me that we needed to go back to hospice. We did,and she died while we were present. My dog knew. Much love to you and Nippy! :)

Marmee's Pantry said...

I'll tell you a funny & true little ditty ~ my sweet Daddy was a frank, simple, loving & dear funny man. Once, in my 20's, when I was facing something hard that I knew I had to face, I asked him what he did when he knew he had to walk into something hard, face it, deal w/it & get it over with? He said, "Well, you just pinch your butt-cheeks together & walk on!" lol Isn't that just what we do? A funny reminder that there's a physical part to "psyching yourself up" as well. lol I have laughed to myself about that so often & it has become a funny-but-true sentiment in our house-hold, too.

Hope that brought a smile to your face & a bit of gumption to your heart.

Blessings from Ohio...Kim<><


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