Monday, May 2, 2011

Worry!

Often when I tell someone that I have 6 married children, 30 grandchildren and one great grandchild; they sometimes are amazed. I usually reply that they are all blessings in my life; but I admit that it gives me many more children to worry about.
While raising our children, I read so many books on how to raise children. Many of them contradicted one another. One thought that rings true in most of the books is that each of your children will have unique personalities and will cause different worries. Therefore the larger the family the more variety of personalities and concerns.
As my husband and I visit our families we note that all of our children have at least one or perhaps two children that are very much like them in personality.
For those children that caused our greatest worries; we smile at each other and know exactly what is going to happen. We haven't been wrong yet. It seems deserving somehow.
Yesterday, I had to smile at a face book entry between my son and his daughter. My granddaughter wrote; "Cause I'm all about him him him him him, and he's all about me me me me me, and we don't give a dang dang dang dang dang about nobody-e-e-e :)" My son replied; "Now that we got that straight...get you room clean clean clean.....LOL". I commented; " Oh granddaughter, when your dear Dad said; "clean, clean your room" is like music to my ears. He finally gets it; if you know what I mean. Love to you all.
So dear children when you see your parents smiling it because of Worry!!

WORRY

Is there an imaginary cutoff period when
Offspring become accountable
For their own actions?
Is there some wonderful moment when
Parents can become detached spectators in
The lives of their children and shrug,
"It's their life", and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties,
I stood in a hospital corridor
Waiting for doctors to put a few stitches
In my son's head and I asked,
'When do you stop worrying?'
The nurse said,
'When they get out of the accident stage..'
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.

When I was in my thirties,
I sat on a little chair in a classroom
And heard how one of my children
Talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
And was headed for a career
Making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
'Don't worry, they all go through this stage
And then you can sit back,
Relax and enjoy them.'
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.

When I was in my forties,
I spent a lifetime waiting
For the phone to ring,
The cars to come home,
The front door to open.
A friend said,
'They're trying to find themselves.
'Don't worry!
In a few years, they'll be adults.
'They'll be off on their own
They'll be out of your hair'
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.

By the time I was 50,
I was so tired of being vulnerable.
I was still worrying over my children,
But there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own
I continued to anguish over their failures,
Be tormented by their frustrations and
Absorbed in their disappointments..
And there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.

My friends said that
When my kids got married
I could stop worrying
And lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that,
But I was haunted by My Parents' warm smiles
And their occasional,
'You look pale. Are you all right' ?
'Call me the minute you get home'.
Are you depressed about something?

My friends said that
When I became a Grandparent
That I would get to enjoy
The happy little voices yelling
Grandma! Grandpa!
And now I find that I worry
Just as much about the little ones
As my big ones.
How does anyone cope
With all this Worry?

Can it be that parents are sentenced
To a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another
Handed down like a torch
To blaze the trail of human frailties
And the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it
A virtue that elevates us
To the highest form of earthly creation?

Recently, one of my own children

Became quite irritable, saying to me,
'Where were you?
I've been calling for 3 days,
And no one answered
I was worried.'
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.
- Anne Margaret Eley 




Our children and grandchildren are our greatest blessings and our greatest life learning experiences. While raising children lessons are learned and the circle of life continues. I love the thoughts of enjoy the moments, or enjoy the journey. I am enjoying the moments with my family and enjoying my journey as a Mother, grandmother and great grandmother.

A-Wise-Woman-Builds-Her-Home
Drop by on the Wise Woman Builds Her Home 
 for more thoughts on being a Mother -

16 comments:

Sue said...

You are lucky to have so many! Worries and all.

What was it someone said? That having children (and grandchildren by extension) is like having your heart walk around outside your body.

So true, isn't it?

=)

The WIlloughby Family said...

I smiled at this post. The funny thing is, at times the children also worry over their parents. Who would have thought???

Love ya, Jess

Patty Ann said...

Oh, I love this today. It expressed my feelings perfectly!!

Marie said...

Wonderful post Leanne. I think that as mothers we will always worry. That is something that will never end. It starts at the moment you know that your child is there in your womb and that is it . . . you carry it for eternity. It is a lovely feeling though. xxoo

Stephanie Cozzens said...

My oldest daughter is just like my husband. I get along fabulously with her. My second daughter is just like me, and we butt heads constantly. Can you explain that?

On my hard days, I think about all the lovely grandchildren my five kids will someday produce. (Just please, not for another ten years!)

Joy For Your Journey said...

You are blessed to have so many worries, but I get it!! Or at least I am beginning to. I remember when my kids were all little and at home and I thought that was tough. Now I have four gone and only one at home and I worry all the time. And with each new person in my family, my worry increases. I kept thinking this would eventually end, but then I look at my parents in their 80's and realizes it NEVER ends! :-)

Jennifer @ GettingDownWithJesus.com said...

Your Facebook exchange has me smiling. Lovely sharing here. :)

Grammy Staffy said...

Dear Leann,
Thank you so much for hopping over to my blog from Marie's link. I haave thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and look forward to reading your last post on tender mercies next.

I completely relate to your post. I don't believe that there will ever come a time that I don't have concerns for my children and grandchildren no matter what their ages are. I think that is just part of being a mother. I'm sure our heavenly parents are always concerned about us as well.

John and I are ordinance workers in the Redlands CA temple. One of the things I have missed most these 40 days I've been in the hospital since our accident is serving in the temple. Our temple Pres. or matron have called me every week. It may be months before I am healed enough to go but as soon as I am able I look forward to returning to His holy house.

I hope that you will visit me again. It is really nice meeting a new blog friend... especially a friend of Marie's. Thank you again. I will be flying home to CA this Thursday. Would you please remember me in your prayers that day. I know the trip home is going to be a hard one,
Have a great week. Hugs, Lura

Diane said...

What a beautiful family!!!

Darlene said...

What an interesting post this is. I have been called a worry wart for so long and of course it is true. Dick says that I worry at times because I have nothing to worry about.

Just the other day I ran across a diary that I kept in 1981. It was SO interesting. That was thirty years ago and I'm still worrying now about things that I worried about then. I really am trying though and have been semi successful since my new motto is "It is what it is." I don't know who wrote that but it has helped me tremendously.

Barb said...

Hi LeAnn!

This post hit home more than you can ever believe!! Thank you for sharing the poem - it's a keeper for sure! Sometimes, when I think of my children and grandchildren going through some heartache and worry with their kids, I just smile, otherwise, I'd cry!

Can't wait to see you in a few weeks!

Hugs and Love,
Barb

JRoberts said...

What a beautiful family, you are blessed...worries and all. :)

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

The facebook exchange is hilarious! My MIL always says "A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child." There is always something to worry about.

Tracy said...

What a great family picture of all your blessings and "worries" :) Great post and the "Worry" poem makes me worried ;) I know I'll look back at some of the concerns I had of my children and laugh that I worried so much!!! Thanks for linking up to NOBH!

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