Friday, March 1, 2013

A Few Life Regrets and Resolutions~

Our Family in 1981 - Families Come First~
Last October in our semi-annual General Conference for The Church of Jesus  Christ of Latter-day Saints; President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency gave a beautiful message on the subject, "Of Regrets And Resolutions".

Last month one of our Relief Society Lessons was given on this particular talk. As I listened to this wonderful lesson it brought to my mind a few thoughts about Regrets that I have had in my life and also Resolutions to change some of those regrets.
President Uchdorf stated the following: "The path toward fulfilling our divine destiny as sons and daughters of God is an eternal one...We must begin to walk that eternal path Today;
We can not take for granted one single day. I pray that we will not wait until we are ready to die before we truly learn to live."
In my own life I do have regrets. This talk caused me to ponder upon some of those regrets and analyze how I resolved some of them and how to prevent having regrets.
President Uchtdorf gave the following three resolutions.
1. Resolve to spend more time with those we love.
During the years of raising my children I had to work off and on. I am a nurse by profession.  I usually worked shifts and other assignments that allowed me to be home with my children during the crucial moments when I felt my family needed me. My last position was in Hospice Home Health Care. Most of the time I could schedule around my children's activities. In the summer of course this was more difficult because they were home more. Also, if one of my patients were dying or had died; I needed to go and be with them and their family.  Sometimes, this caused an interruption in my mothering care. Later on I became the Director of the Hospice Home Health and my hours to be home were more restricted. At the time, I felt that I was doing OK. However, later on after I quit and became a more full time mother; I realize that my working did have an affect upon my children. Working at that time was a necessity and I didn't have much choice. I learned later on that my one daughter felt like I wasn't there for her very much. One of my younger daughters couldn't remember me being home very much. One of my son's had some big challenges and I didn't know about some of it because I was at work. I really have some regrets and often have wondered how I could repair that damage. For my last four children I was able to be a full time mother during most of their teenage years.  This was such a blessing in my life. All of my children came through this period of time with a few scars but basically they have remained true to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.They have served missions for our church and been married in the temple .However, I do regret that I wasn't home with them more. I know I did try to be a loving mother; but I also feel I failed in giving them the time they needed with me.
Back then Family Home Evening was very inconsistant for our family. I have a testimony of that program and recognized that it can bring great blessings into your home when you have  regular Family Home Evenings each week.
Another quick regret is that I didn't have time to see or call my parents as often as I should have. Now both of them have passed away. I miss them so much.
We also didn't have family reunions with our extended families so that has been sad. Now that we live near our brothers and sisters; we do see them a little more often.
Treasure family relationships and provide time in your life for them.
President Uchtdorf gave the following thoughts; "When Jesus Christ interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time."
If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it.
"Let us resolve to cherish those we love by spending meaningful time with them, doing things together, and cultivating treasured memories". ~ Pres. Uchtdorf.
So ask yourself, how can I encourage quality family time in my home?

For now I can just hangout and enjoy each of my sweet Grandchildren - This is the biggest blessing of being grandparents instead of parents.

2. Resolve to strive more earnestly to become the person God wants us to be.
I must say on this one that I try very hard to be the kind of person Heavenly Father wants me to be. Of course,I am far from accomplishing this. I do realize that we are here on earth to learn and grow in our testimony of the Savior. We are here to make choices every day; we have agency a true gift. I and we are all imperfect. However, I believe that I can work on attributes that will bring me closer to my Savior and closer to my goal of becoming the person God wants me to be.
 I am now in the retirement years of my life without children at home. I have more time to delve into the scriptures and other good books. I have always been one to pray alot; but now my prayers are more intense and meaningful. I understand what prayer can bring to my life to help me on a daily basis. I frequently get answers to prayers through the scriptures and other things I read.  I find more time to provide service to others which has broadened my experiences and taught me many lessons. Going to the temple more often and serving there weekly has opened my eyes to many truths.
My regrets would be that I didn't realize that the scriptures are the prime source for raising children and solidifying marriages. I tried to be a good mother; but I would have been a better one if I had studied the scriptures more intently while raising children. I didn't realize that they had the answers to every problem that came up through those child raising years.
Although we did go to the temple fairly often through the years; if I would have been more consistant; I would have found greater strength and revelation through temple service.
Now I see the blessings from doing those things mentioned above. Sometimes we get so busy that we do not do those things that will bring us closer to the person God wants us to be.
In Pres. Uchtdorf's message he said: "Discipleship is the pursuit of holiness and happiest
Let us resolve to follow the Savior and work diligence to become the person we were designed to become. Let us listen to and obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit. As we do so Heavenly Father will reveal to us things we never knew about ourselves. He will illuminate the path ahead and open our eyes to see our unknown an perhaps unimagined talents.
The more we devote ourselves to the pursuit of holiness and happiness, the less likely we will be on a path to regrets. The more we rely on the Savior's grace, the more we will feel that we are on the track our Father in Heaven has intended for us.

How will following the Savior help me to discover the woman God wants me to become? What can I do to be a better disciple of Christ?

3. Resolve to find Happiness, regardless of our circumstances.
I have a little clause in my partriartical blessing that states that I am to be optimistic and cheerful. I must say that I usually am the one in the family to be the most optimistic. I also through the years have tried to be cheerful and happy. I told my husband when we were first married that I would go with him  and live where ever we needed to live and that I would be happy with him even if we lived in a tent. Through the years we moved a lot. Sometimes in rental homes in the same ward and homes that we bought and sold. We lived mostly in three bedroom homes and had our three boys in one room and three girls in another. I always felt happy in whatever home I have lived in. Each of these moves and homes bring to mind many sweet memories along with a few sad ones. In later years we were fortunate to have more living space; but it also brought more rooms to clean. I just know I have been greatly blessed by having a good attitude through the years of raising children and moving into different states and homes. We have moved a total of 22 times and have lived in four different states.
Through life experiences I have always tried to be happy. I have tried hard to live in the present. I can't say that I haven't been depressed over different experiences; but I never remain that way for very long.
A closing thought by President Uchtdorf: ".....No matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trial, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.
Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts. I love the quote: "One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."

What can I do to see and acknowledge the good things in my everyday life?

Pause for a moment and answer those questions??You will be greatly blessed if you do~ 


Marie said...

I always love reading your posts LeAnn. I don't think anyone gets to our age in life without having some regrets and wishes that they had done some things differently. I, too, have many regrets. All I have the power to do is to make sure that I do my best for the remainder of my life. Sending you love today and always. xxoo

Denise said...

Appreciate your sharing.

Corine said...

I love President Uchtdorf's talks!!! Thanks for this reminder. I think we ALL have regreats. Hopefully we will remember that we do our best and not beat ourselves up. Of course, we want to live in such a way as to have as few regrets as possible, but the fact that we strive for this and STILL have regrets - simply shows that we are HUMAN, and that WE CARE... I think it would be sad if we had NO regrets, because we are not perfect, and should regret mistakes; IT MEANS WE ARE LEARNING! :) So give yourself a pat on the back for learning and improving! And thank the lord for President Uchtdorf and all the rest of his servants - who help us to learn what we need to know so we can have much fewer regrets than we would have had without their wisdom and wit! :)
PS. Nice to meet your lovely blog,
Corine :D

Eve | Inchworm Chronicles said...

This post here is so precious, in every sense of that word. I respect and admire you for your candid expression and also ability to look back and honestly inventory what you were grateful for and what you would have done differently.

Sometimes, I look back and wish I could have done things differently in some ways (even though I am at a different point on life's journey than you), but then I realize that I did the best I could with what I knew, or in a circumstance, at the time that I made the choice.

I know the Lord has power to turn all things for our good and benefit, when we obey him and do our best. He honors those who honor him, and I believe wholeheartedly that extended to our families, as well.

The Lord has perfectly made up for the places that my family failed at times and helped me heal and move on. I know this can be true for anyone who turns to Him for that help (for anyone reading with that desire).

It is clear you have done the same, as you radiate such peace and hope and faith. I wish many blessings for your family, and how fortunate they are to have you for their mother and grandmother.

On a similar note, I have a post that was written awhile ago but is scheduled to be posted on Monday. It about relationships, too. We are thinking along similar lines! :-)

(I like those as much as blessings!)

singing/granny said...

Beautiful thoughts LeAnn! I think we all wish we could change some of the mistakes we have made in the past. Hindsight is 20/20 they say. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ, His example, and especially His atonement for us all that makes possible our ability to repent and to go forward. I love Pres. Uchtdorf's wonderful insights, and yours too. Thanks for the inspiration! Melody

Kim said...

I agree with Marie. As we get older we have more time to look back upon and wish we had done differently. However, since we are not able to change the past, we just need to let go and use that information to change how we make choices in the future. Your points are spot on, and make for a joyful life. Thanks for the reminder to live more fully!

Galen Pearl said...

Well, you know I especially loved #3, but #2 was the one I was deeply drawn to. But all of these are regrets and resolutions we can all relate to. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.

Cheryl @ TFD said...

Just wanted to drop in and say that your family is so fortunate to have you! Many blessings to you and yours.

Debbie said...

i know a lot of time goes in to these very thoughtful entries leann.

i live every, single, second of my life. the hubs drags me to bed kicking every night because i don't want the day to end!!

i don't want to miss anything!!

Barb said...

Hi LeAnn!

Loved this post! President Uchtdorf is such a wise man.

I think we would all do things differently . . . if we could go back and live our life again. Thank goodness my children are forgiving! I guess those trials and challenges are just part of the living and learning experience that we have to go through while on this earth. For myself, like you, I have learned to lean on my Father in Heaven, more in my older years than I did when I was raising my family. Maybe it's because I'm not so busy, or maybe it's because the problems are so different, and there are more children and grandchildren to worry about and pray for.

I have learned that the time spent with my husband, children, grandchildren, mother; is more precious to me than ever. I can feel God's hand in my life more now than ever before in my life. Maybe all of those life lessons, or regrets, have made me who I am, and maybe I did learn something good from them... ;0)

I think there is always room for improvement, but it's so good to acknowledge the good that we do each day - and we ALL do good each day!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts - this was a message I needed to read and ponder on. You are such a sweet and wonderful influence in my life - so glad that we share a family!!

Hugs and Love,

Court said...

Such good things to ponder! I love thinking about intentionally drawing closer to my husband and counting up blessings instead of curses is surely always a good thing!

Darlene said...

Don't you just love to listen to President Uchtdorf? I am always so happy to hear him...he gives such wonderful advice and shares so many interesting stories.

He has such a positive attitude and I love that. I am trying to live my life that way now, especially as I get older.

I would so love to be able to see my family more, but unfortunately some of them never come to visit me and the ones that do only make it here maybe once a year. I do see more of Sue than anyone because she has two of her children here in the Southland and she usually tries to see me when she comes to be with them. Their whole family comes here the last of May though for her birthday. The guys play golf every day and our third daughter, Nikki, tries to get over for a few days while they are here, so that is lots of fun for all of us. My youngest daughter, Jayne, the one that lives in Salt Lake tries to make it here once a year, and we try to drive there once a year too. The other two haven't been here for quite a while, but we do try to get to Lake Tahoe to see our son as least once a year, and we do go over to Huntington Beach to see our oldest daughter, Nancy, but her four boys never come here. We always go to see them. It keeps us busy in the summertime trying to see them all, and some times we just can't go. It is really tiring for me to travel and I can never find a comfortable chair to sit in while I am there. I think it is wonderful that you get to see your children so often and you do have a LARGE one. Don't you feel sorry for people that have no children? I have a friend who is a year older than I am and has never had a child. Her life is pretty lonely now.

Looking back on my life, I know I have made mistakes, but we do learn from them and I certainly have learned from mine. As I get older I am just so grateful that I have had the gospel in my life, all my life. I have been helped so many times that I know my Heavenly Father loves me and he certainly does listen to my prayers. I try not to ask him to heal me and take away all my pain, I just pray for ways to be able to handle it all.

Thanks LeAnn for this beautiful post. My thoughts are so similar to yours, and I just feel we are both so blessed.

The Adventurer said...

You always have such great thoughts. I love it. Especially number 3 as we are getting ready to move back home and I will miss where we currently live and striving to find the good and happiness in the move:)

As for regret I am a full time stay at home mommy and I still have regrets that I didn't do enough, say the right thing with my children. I think it is also called mother's guild:) We all do our best under the circumstances and it is never good to beat yourself up over it. I am sure your kids know you were doing your absolutely best:)

Sister Adamson said...

I love you mom:) You did I the best you could. Remember you were and angel of mercy at the beside of people who were taking their last breath. I had not realized the magnitude of your service to them until I was laid up in bed recovering from surgery, being taken care of by many angels, you be one of them.

Sue said...

Wonderful, insightful post. Thanks for sharing it.

I can't wait for conference to come. Something always speaks especially to me.



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